Changing Normal

A friend encouraged me to share more of my poems and songs online. For some reason, I have a sense that a blog needs to make sense and often these writings emanate from a different place. But I've come to terms with the fact that this may be the way that the universe wants to express itself through me. :) Hope you find something to move you...



Changing Normal

Hallelujah’s commonplace these days
Everyone’s praying for a new way, new play
Don’t you feel the pressure of the sun raining down
Into every pore that’s trying not to drown?

Lookin, hopin for a miracle these days
Consciousness of waking up is turning commonplace
Don’t you feel the truth as it settles in your veins
Building its momentum, clearing out the drains?

Chorus
Slow, slow falling away of lies
Subtle exposure of all the open gaps
Crying away all false attitudes
Smiling in new ideas and vast gratitude

Creeping out the back door
There’s some evidence of grace
Home is where the heart is
It’s becoming commonplace

Chorus
Slow, slow falling away of lies
Subtle exposure of all the gaps
Crying away all the false attitudes
Smiling in new ideas and vast gratitude

Chasing Fulfillment

As I wander down the path of life, pointed towards some open field of sun, and frolicking, I notice that there are so many things that come into my awareness and distract me from my path. Like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, the impulses seem irresistible to follow. Lately I’ve been particularly aware of how often I’m seeking, whether it be seeking rest, or seeking connection, or seeking the answers. It’s remarkable how little time I actually spend experiencing those things that I’ve been seeking. It’s as if the primary draw is the task of finding. Once I’m there, it’s almost unsettling to have found what I’m looking for.

In fact, to recognize that what I’m looking for is ALWAYS here is the ultimate source of humbling. But this path of searching is so engrained in my psyche that my awareness of the pattern doesn’t seem enough to break it. Something a bit more compelling is needed…let’s call it intention. Like the magnifying glass that amplifies the sunlight. Conscious awareness with the intention of truly seeing seems to melt away the compulsion to follow the same old pattern.

Something Substantial to Say...

All these years I've kept my thoughts to myself.  Well, of course I'd share some insights and stories with a few friends (especially the juicy ones), but there's a part of me that feels like perhaps, just maybe, other people would resonate with this fascinating view of the world that's streaming through these eyes, thoughts, fingers.  I mean, hey, I'm pretty damn fascinated with my experience, why not share the wealth?!  

So here I am with my very first entry, feeling the pressure to perform.  The inner judge speaks up, "Do you REALLY think that you have something substantial to say?"  Hm...hoping to hear another member of my internal audience speak up in my defense, I hear silence.  Which is actually a gift, because I instead decide to ponder the question.  What is it that guided this spirit into the techno-world in an attempt to convey something to the blessed souls who may venture this direction?  Answers and more questions stream into my consciousness like passing scenery on a high speed train....none of it coming into focus.  The truth is that I don't know what anyone else will find "substantial" so it's difficult to pass judgement on my offering.

A few years ago I was speaking to a friend who put himself down about something he had done, "I'm so stupid."  Without thinking or even registering the words as they came from my mouth, I said, "Don't talk to yourself like that.  We're all one, so when you treat yourself that way, it affects us all" (or something to that effect).  I could tell by the look on his face that the words seemed to resonate for him at the time.  Apparently I was a vessel for what he needed to hear.  A few years later I was visiting another friend from the same large community of friends in the east bay.  She pointed to a note on her refrigerator with my words paraphrased.  They were so meaningful to her that she wrote them down and posted them to remember.  Underneath was a list of people who had passed the quote along to her...Monette quoting Will quoting John quoting Joseph quoting Manuel quoting Kiara...five other people who had been moved by the same idea:  Treat yourself with kindness because our thoughts/actions have an impact on the collective consciousness.  It seems that the message had resonance beyond that moment in time which I could never have anticipated.

So my intention, in this blog, is to release myself from the inner voice that only wants me to share if I have something absolutely transformative to say and allow us all to be surprised.  I'm making space for another part, the one that wants to share of myself, wants deeper connection with others, wants to move and be moved, and thrives on finding the meaning in this magical mystery tour called life.  Welcome to the ride!