So here I am with my very first entry, feeling the pressure to perform. The inner judge speaks up, "Do you REALLY think that you have something substantial to say?" Hm...hoping to hear another member of my internal audience speak up in my defense, I hear silence. Which is actually a gift, because I instead decide to ponder the question. What is it that guided this spirit into the techno-world in an attempt to convey something to the blessed souls who may venture this direction? Answers and more questions stream into my consciousness like passing scenery on a high speed train....none of it coming into focus. The truth is that I don't know what anyone else will find "substantial" so it's difficult to pass judgement on my offering.
A few years ago I was speaking to a friend who put himself down about something he had done, "I'm so stupid." Without thinking or even registering the words as they came from my mouth, I said, "Don't talk to yourself like that. We're all one, so when you treat yourself that way, it affects us all" (or something to that effect). I could tell by the look on his face that the words seemed to resonate for him at the time. Apparently I was a vessel for what he needed to hear. A few years later I was visiting another friend from the same large community of friends in the east bay. She pointed to a note on her refrigerator with my words paraphrased. They were so meaningful to her that she wrote them down and posted them to remember. Underneath was a list of people who had passed the quote along to her...Monette quoting Will quoting John quoting Joseph quoting Manuel quoting Kiara...five other people who had been moved by the same idea: Treat yourself with kindness because our thoughts/actions have an impact on the collective consciousness. It seems that the message had resonance beyond that moment in time which I could never have anticipated.
So my intention, in this blog, is to release myself from the inner voice that only wants me to share if I have something absolutely transformative to say and allow us all to be surprised. I'm making space for another part, the one that wants to share of myself, wants deeper connection with others, wants to move and be moved, and thrives on finding the meaning in this magical mystery tour called life. Welcome to the ride!
